How I've been spending my time in Thailand... and what expat life is teaching me so far.

I've learned a lot within the last couple of years.  I've learned things don't always go as planned, and that is okay.  I've learned to embrace change and to strive towards acheiving my goals instead of settling.  I've learned that my goals are constantly changing as I adapt to my current situations, and that is also okay.  These are all small pieces within the big picture.  

Before heading off to Thailand, almost every single person who I told our "plans" to, asked me what I was going to do once we got here.  Zack had his year already laid out for him being hired at Chiang Mai International School as a certified math and science teacher, while I hummed and haawed... wondering where I could fit into this puzzle.  Some would think I should have done a little more research before arriving here.  How was I not panicking about this?  Showing up in a new country, unemployed, not being able to speak the language... and NOT being a certified teacher (which makes the job market a heck of a lot slimmer here as an English speaking white girl).  What was I possibly thinking?  Somehow, panic never really settled in for me (thankfully).  To almost every person who asked me what my plan was, I'd reply by saying, "I'll figure something out".  I figured there was no sense in stressing over this until I got there and found myself in a pickle.  This "pickle" being not finding something to invest my time in: whether it be paid work, volunteering, or whatever other commitments we as humans fill our time with to find purpose.  I realllly didn't want to be in that pickle.  So, here is what I've been working on and (most importantly) what it is teaching me:

1.  My shop: Sarah Reimer Designs

This is truly something that excites me.  Though there have been days where I've felt completely deflated, in the end, I find this is where I thrive.  Once I get past my fears and realize that I can control what I put into this, I find myself opening up to my creative ideas and simply running with it.  Even when I know there has not been a single person looking at my shop for days, I am still proud of my work.  Though I have been researching ways to expand my audience/clientele, for the most part I realize I am doing this for me.  Is that selfish of me?  Maybe... but I think it's an alright kind of selfish.  I read somewhere that if we are truly doing what we love, even if it's to feed our own creative juices, or for our own enjoyment, that eventually that love will spill over enough that in the end you will impact people in a positive way.  Those positive vibes will spread, and people will notice that and enjoy it!  I know I've got a long way to go, but I've been investing more time into this endeavour of mine and hope to see it grow in the future.

2.  I am officially a Supply Teacher!

I know, I can hardly believe it either.  Though I've been pre-occupied with Sarah Reimer Designs, I continued to look else where to see where I could get involved.  The people and community at CMIS (Chiang Mai International School) are absolutely wonderful, and it only took one meeting with the Assistant Director, before I found myself on board and added to their supply teaching list.  This seemed completely surreal to me, because in Canada there's no way this would ever happen without going through proper schooling and training.  However, because of my connection there (Zack being a full time teacher) and their need for supply teachers, it all worked itself out.  I went in for my first official day this past Wednesday and am thankful to say it went well!  I substituted for Grade Four Writing and Science and the kids were great.  Apparently, I looked like I knew what I was doing and the kids treated me with utmost respect.  I know it's not always like this, and I may experience some not-so-good days in the future, but I am thankful to have started out on a good note.  I even received a couple hugs!

What have I learned (so far) through all of this?

1.  I've learned a lot about fear.  I've learned to use fear as a positive tool- and I'm trying to not let it hold me back creatively.

We are all scared.  We're scared of failing, of feeling hurt, or of making the wrong decisions.  Trust me, I've been there a million times- especially these past couple of years.  I've learned that fear is not a bad thing however.  When travelling, fear can be used a useful tool...  to not walk down that back alley, or to cross the street in Chiang Mai very carefully (roads are soo not pedestrian friendly here!).  However, sometimes fear can get in the way of chasing our dreams.  It can really get in the way of our creativity.  "It's been done before", "I'm not that talented", or "it's too "out there"... no one will like it", are all things that have run through my head before when working on my shop.  Also, a lot of us (myself included) tend to narrow down our "talents", deciding that we are useless in other areas.  "I'm not a creative person" or "I can't do math" are two things that come to my mind.  We may have our strengths and weaknesses, but if we just were not afraid of failing, we would try soo much harder.  For example, I never would have thought of teaching a day in my life before these past couple of weeks.  But here I am, deciding to try something new!  The worst thing that can happen, is you find out you hate it.  So you stop.  But there are just so many more possibilites when you decide that FEAR will not hold you back.

2.  Start where you are, with whatever tools you have.  We all needed to start somewhere.

This is something that constantly ran through my mind when opening up my online shop.  I found myself looking at other shop owners and convincing myself I didn't have the resources or funds to actually start this.  Until I realized we all need to start somewhere.  Even the most successful business people, artists, writers, or whatever else, all probably started working odd jobs before making it big.  I am starting this teaching job with no teaching experience, yet I can use my social skills to connect with students, or whatever knowledge I have tucked away in my brain.  It's hard for me to believe that little old me is a teacher, but I can learn from this.  The least I can do is give it a shot, right?

Anyways, that's about enough deep thinking I can do for now.  It definitely felt good to unwravel these thoughts down into writing.  Hope you can find a little bit of inspiration from what I've learned so far :)